A QUIET CONVERSATION
Nobody ever taught you this.
If the spark has quietly faded, if intimacy has slipped somewhere down the list, if you've started to wonder whether this is simply how it goes now, you're not the only one. So many women feel exactly this, and almost none of us say it out loud.
​
The problem? This is the information that matters most for understanding how desire and pleasure actually work, especially for women. And no one ever thought to teach us. Not what our bodies are capable of. Not why desire ebbs and flows. Not how to ask for what we want. We're given almost no real education about our own pleasure, then left wondering why it all feels so complicated.
​
I know that feeling from the inside. For a long time I assumed something was wrong with me. That I was broken. The truth was much simpler than that: nothing was wrong with me at all. I'd simply never been taught any of it.
​
So I re-trained as a sexologist and built The Passion Project to give other women what I wish someone had told me in my 20s. Today I'm a pleasure coach for women, based in Auckland and working with clients right across New Zealand, helping you reconnect with desire, understand your own body, and reignite something that was never gone, just waiting on the sidelines.
​
If you've been wondering, as I did for 20 years, whether something is wrong with you, I can almost guarantee you it isn't. You're not broken. You were just never given the information about our bodies that we all should have been taught. And that's something we can start changing today.
WHAT I DO
So what is a female pleasure coach?
Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. A female pleasure coach is a qualified sexologist who works with women to help them understand, explore, and reclaim their desire and pleasure. The work is education-led, evidence-based, and built entirely around you.
​
I work on filling the enormous gap between what we've casually picked up about female pleasure and desire (from friends, movies, whatever the latest influencer is saying) and the real, accurate information that's powerful enough to change our lives.
​
In our 1:1 sessions you will learn how desire actually works (spoiler: it isn't what those magazine articles told us). You will understand why orgasm may have been frustrating or hard to reach, why it's not your fault, and how that so often starts to change once the fundamentals are in place. You will rebuild your confidence in your body, your voice, and your right to want more of what feels good. And you will do all of it in a space that is warm, intelligent, and refreshingly free of shame.
​
I work in person in Auckland and online with women across NZ and beyond. Most of my clients are in their 30s, 40s and 50s. Smart, capable women who have a quiet sense that their intimate lives could be more, and who are finally ready to find out how.
"Pleasure isn't selfish. And it isn't reserved for the young, the coupled, or the confident. It's yours, at every age and stage."
- RACHEL STREVENS, SEXOLOGIST
WHY IT MATTERS
It's not indulgent.
It's good for you.
Fun fact: until 1968, masturbation was officially classified as a mental illness. We've come a long way, and yet pleasure is still treated as a guilty indulgence more often than not.
The reality? It's good for you. Not in a vague, feel-good way, but in a real, scientifically measurable way. Regular sex and orgasm are linked to a whole run of health benefits, for women and men alike. So if you've ever wondered whether this is a little selfish, or simply not worth the bother, consider this your permission to think again.
Less stress
Orgasm releases endorphins and oxytocin and turns down cortisol, the stress hormone. You're left calmer and more connected.
Better sleep
That drowsy feeling afterwards isn't your imagination. It's prolactin, released when you orgasm, helping you drift off.
A mood lift
The same feel-good hormones (endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine) are tied to better mood and stronger mental health.
Stronger immunity
Research links regular sex to a busier immune system, with more of the antibodies that fight off everyday bugs.
FUN FACT
Women who use a vibrator have more orgasms.
More orgasms, more of the above health benefits.
By that logic, owning one isn't an indulgence. It's a health investment.
You're welcome.
WHO THIS IS FOR
This is for you if...
You used to feel sexy. And somewhere along the way, that quietly went missing.
You struggle to reach orgasm, or have never reliably orgasmed, and you're starting to wonder if it is even possible
Your desire has changed and you are not sure if it is hormones, life, or the relationship
You have recently left a long relationship, and you want to understand yourself before the next one
You are in a relationship you love, but your sex life feels stuck, slow, or sleepy
You have read the books, listened to the podcasts, and you still feel like you are missing something fundamental
You are done waiting for it to get better on its own
15 minutes. No pressure or awkwardness. Just a conversation.
WHAT WE WORK ON TOGETHER
The conversations you've been carrying.
Desire and libido
01
Why it changes. What "responsive desire" actually is (and why 70% of women have it, but nobody tells us that). How to work with yours, instead of against it.
Pleasure and orgasm
02
How your body actually works. Why only 30% of women reliably orgasm from penetrative sex, and what to do about it. PSA: there is nothing wrong with you.
Sexual confidence
03
In your skin. In the bedroom. In asking for what you want. Real confidence is built from real information, not affirmations.
Mid-life, menopause, hormones
04
What nobody told you about perimenopause, body image, hormones, and how all of it intersects with desire. Real information, no panic.
Talking to your partner
05
The conversations that should be easy and somehow aren't. How to ask for what you want. How to hear what he is not saying. How to start the dialogue again.
Life after a long relationship
06
For women rebuilding after divorce or separation. Finally understanding yourself sexually, before the next chapter, on your own terms.
HOW IT WORKS
A simple way in.
1
2
3
4
Free Intro Chat
Discovery Session
The Work
Beyond Coaching
A 15-minute call to see if we're a fit. No pressure, no awkwardness.
Your first 60-minute session. By the end you'll have a clear plan.
Ongoing sessions (usually fortnightly), online or in Auckland.
Pleasure Lab workshops, retreats, recommended reading. There's plenty more when you are ready for it.
Step one is a free 15-minute call. No commitment, no awkwardness.
WANT TO EXPLORE FURTHER?
Three good places to start.
WORKSHOP
Pleasure Lab for Women
Relaxed, online workshops for women, covering everything you were never taught. The easiest first step.
READ
From the blog
Honest, practical writing on desire, pleasure, and everything you were never taught. Free, and a good place to keep going.
ABOUT
Meet Rachel
The story behind The Passion Project, and the woman you'd be working with.
​
​
FROM WOMEN I'VE WORKED WITH
In their words.
"It felt deeply nourishing to step into a celebratory, educational, safe and pleasure-focused space. The conversations around toys, play and explosive orgasms continue."
MORGAN G.
"I recently had a few highly beneficial coaching sessions with Rachel. She's a professional and present coach who actively listened, validated, and gently challenged my mindset when needed. I'll definitely be back for more."
CARINA V.
"Rachel is a driven and inspiring women's coach who supports her clients to live in an empowered way. She asks insightful questions and was able to quickly identify where I was devaluing myself, helping me become more aware of my limiting beliefs."
ANNA C.
COMMON QUESTIONS
What women ask before booking.
I'm in my 50s. Is it too late? Absolutely not. Some of the most rewarding work I do is with women in their 50s and 60s. There is something about that age — the time, the perspective, the willingness — that makes everything finally possible. Honestly, the best is so often still ahead.
Is this going to be awkward? Less than you think. Most women tell me, within about ten minutes of the first session, that it actually feels weirdly normal, because for the first time someone is talking about this stuff like an adult. You can ask anything. Honestly, there is nothing I haven't been asked before.
What actually happens in a session? All sessions are entirely talk-based: conversation, education, and guided reflection. There is no touch, no physical contact, and no somatic bodywork of any kind. A typical session combines real information about how desire and intimacy work, open conversation, and practical tools to take away. It is warm, educational, and, more often than not, a real relief to actually talk about this with someone.
Is this confidential? Yes. All coaching conversations are confidential and conducted in line with ANZCAL professional ethics standards. What is discussed in sessions stays in sessions. The standard professional exception applies: if there is serious risk of harm to you or another person, I am required to take appropriate action. This is the same standard across all health and coaching professions in NZ.
How is this different from therapy? Therapy is for crisis, trauma, or dysfunction. Coaching is for women who are essentially fine, and want more. If you are in real distress, please see a therapist (and I can point you towards a good one). If you are functional and frustrated, that is my speciality.
Can we do this online if I'm not in Auckland? Yes. Most of the women I work with are online, from across NZ. We use Zoom, and it works beautifully.
I've never been able to orgasm. Can you actually help? Yes. And you are very much not alone. Only 30% of women reliably orgasm from penetrative sex — most of us need different stimulation, and most of us were never taught what that looked like for our own body. In almost every case I work on, the issue is information, not biology. I help you figure that out.
How much does this cost? Pricing is shared after your free intro call, because the right structure depends on where you're starting from and what you want to work on. If cost is a real concern, please say so on that call. I would much rather have that conversation than have you not reach out at all.
Will my partner need to be involved? Not at all. This work is for you, first and foremost. A lot of clients do this on their own, and their relationship gets better simply as a knock-on effect of them feeling more confident and informed. Some bring their partner in later, or work alongside their partner who is being coached separately. It is entirely your call.
How long does this typically take? Most women work with me over a few months. Some shorter, some longer. The work is designed to give you skills you carry forward, not to keep you in coaching indefinitely.
Subscribe to the most pleasurable newsletter around...
Real talk on sex, intimacy and desire - for women, couples, and the men who want to show up better. No spam. Just the good stuff.